Return of the Runebound Professor
Chapter 317: Cozy

“I can’t believe you told her,” Moxie said, craning her head back to look at Noah from her spot in his lap. “I didn’t want her to know all of that, you know. I could have said it myself if I did.”

“It was hurting both of you more than it was helping. There are some secrets worth keeping, but I don’t think that was one of them. Emily deserves to know you as you actually are.”

Moxie harrumphed and leaned back into him. “Says the person with more secrets than any of us.”

“Hey, you know all of them now. If anything, all of those secrets just prove I know more about this than you do. I’ve got experience. Besides, didn’t you feel like we got closer after I shared them with you?”

Moxie didn’t respond for a few seconds. Then she let out an annoyed sigh. “Yeah, I did. That doesn’t mean I have to like it, though. You could have just told me I needed to talk to Emily.”

“Would you have?”

Moxie reached back and poked him in the side. “I’ve got you pinned. Don’t try me.”

“Stop! I already surrendered,” Noah said with a laugh. “You’re the one who asked. I know I probably shouldn’t have told Emily. It wasn’t my place. I just didn’t want to see both of you keep dancing around this forever. I tried to avoid the specifics as much as possible.”

“It was probably the right move,” Moxie admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Emily… didn’t respond poorly, did she?”

“No. Not to you, at least. I think she was more torn up about failing to realize what was going on. She definitely isn’t going to be mourning Evergreen’s death too much.”

“Good riddance,” Moxie said under her breath. She paused as the door opened, and they both looked over as Lee poked her head into the room.

“You were out for a while,” Noah said. “More squirrels?”

“Nope. I was just wandering around.” Lee stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She walked over to the bed and hopped into it, leaning up against Noah and Moxie. “Everyone else is eating dinner together.”

“You mean the students?” Noah asked.

“Yeah. It looked tasty, so I tried some.”

“Was it going well?” Noah asked. “Alexandra is with them?”

“Yeah. They went to a restaurant. They did look at me a little weird, though. I think they’re getting rebellious. It was rude.”

Noah’s brow furrowed. Something about Lee’s voice told him she was very much waiting for him to ask why they’d given her weird looks, and he wasn’t one to resist obliging.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing! I just ate some of their food.”

“How much?” Moxie asked, repressing a laugh.

“Just a nibble. I’m not a savage. I tasted it after I brought it to them to make sure it was good. That’s what you’re meant to do to show it’s good, right?”

“Wait, you brought them their food? Why? Weren’t you just eating with them?”

“No, that was too boring. I decided to be their waiter instead, so I shifted into the assassin that Karina and Contessa killed in your room. It was fun!”

“You ate some of their food while in the body of an assassin pretending to be a waiter at a restaurant?”

“Wait, what happened to the waiter?” Moxie asked.

“I told him to take a break. He seemed receptive to it.” Lee snickered. “It was actually really easy to just walk in there and take a uniform. I didn’t even have to steal it. It just doesn’t make sense why they were confused. I could have sworn I did everything right. I copied the way the waiter spoke too.”

“It’s probably because waiters don’t taste the food before giving it to people,” Moxie said gently.

“What? How do you know it’s good if they don’t taste it? Anyone would want to eat food that tastes good, so if you don’t taste it, clearly the food is bad and nobody would want to eat it. It’s a sign of respect.”

Noah pictured the expressions on the students’ faces and grinned. “I kind of wish I was there. You’ve never seen a waiter do that before, though. Why’d you suddenly decide that was how it was done?”

“It just felt right.”

“Well, now you know why they gave you looks. Honestly, they probably wouldn’t have been as weirded out if you’d just did it in the form that they recognize you in.”

“Probably,” Lee agreed. She paused for a second. “That would have made it easier to track me down after I got caught drinking all the gravy in the kitchen, though. I don’t think the assassin is going to be very hirable in the future.”

Noah couldn’t stop himself from bursting into laughter.

“Don’t encourage her!” Moxie said, but the look on her face told Noah that she was just barely avoiding laughing as well.

Their amusement was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“It’s Karina and Contessa,” Lee said, slipping off the bed. Moxie got off Noah and he rose to his feet, adjusting his clothes.

Lee pulled the door open to reveal Karina, midway through raising her hand to knock again. Contessa stood behind her. It wasn’t much of a surprise – he’d never seen Lee’s nose lie to her before.

“I did what you asked,” Karina said. “Contessa and I found the auction.”

“And?”

“Contessa got me in, and we can bring guests,” Karina said. She did her best to keep her eyes focused mostly on Lee, who was closest to her. “We can go whenever you’re ready. It’s running every day this week.”

“Perfect.” Noah grinned, then threw a glance out the window. The evening had started, but it wasn’t that far into it. Karina and Contessa had made pretty good time on finding and getting entry to the auction. “I’m surprised it went easily.”

“Me too,” Karina admitted. “I didn’t think I’d be allowed in after what happened to my family, but I guess news somehow hasn’t made it here yet. If you want to go tonight, we should probably move pretty quickly. I rushed to get back here, but they said the doors close and the auction starts in thirty minutes – nobody new will be allowed to enter for the rest of the day after that.”

“That should be fine.” Noah looked to Moxie. “Unless we had something planned for the rest of the night?”

She shook her head. “Better to do this now. We need to get those Runes for you and Lee already.”

“I couldn’t agree more. I was just trying to be polite. Aren’t you impressed?”

Moxie rolled her eyes, and Noah scooped his grimoire off the ground. He slung it over his back, then nodded to Contessa. “Right. Lead the way, then.”

They all filed out of the room and, after locking it behind them, headed down the hall and out of the T building. Contessa moved at a brisk pace, not leaving them much room to stroll and enjoy the evening atmosphere.

“Anything we should know about this before I go bumbling things up?” Noah asked. “Because I get the feeling some fancy noble thing like this is going to end with me somehow pissing someone off and having to blast them into kingdom come.”

“Please don’t do that,” Contessa said, glancing over to him before returning her attention to the road before her. “We’ll get banned if you start using any of your Runes. When we get there, we’ll all be taken to changing rooms where we get into plain clothes and are given masks to conceal our identities.”

“To keep people from killing each other over losing auctions?” Moxie guessed.

“Yeah. It’s pretty effective so long as you don’t reveal too much about yourself on accident during the actual auction. People usually just yell threats and the like when they lose, so as long as you don’t give away too much information, you’ll be fine.”

“Why even respond at all?” Lee asked. “If all they can do is speak, can’t we ignore them?”

“You can, but it can be seen as a sign of weakness.” Contessa turned down a path going alongside the gardens. “In general, it’s a lot better to just match the way you’re treated. Just avoid doing anything that lets people identify you.”

Lee’s body rippled. Her clothes ripped at the seams as she enlarged, growing three feet taller and widening until she was both taller and more muscular than Noah. Her hair shortened and a small moustache appeared on her upper lip. Karina stared at her in a mixture of awe and horror.

“What?” Lee asked, looking down at herself. “I’m looking different.”

“Don’t grow any larger,” Noah suggested. “Or move too suddenly. I don’t know if there’s an age limit on who’s allowed to attend these things.”

They came to a stop beside a small stone building at the end of the garden. It didn’t look large enough for their group, much less an entire auction. Contessa walked up and rapped her knuckles on the door in a short pattern.

A moment later, the door ground open to reveal the small building’s interior. It was completely dark and empty, with nothing but a stairwell in its center that led underground. Noah tilted his head to the side.

“How big is this event that they’ve got a whole secret passage building dedicated to it?”

“Oh, it’s not just for the event. They also do weddings.” Contessa started down the stairs, then paused. “I think they do birthdays too, but you’ve got to be really rich for that.”

“Noted,” Noah said, and they all followed her into the darkness. Behind them, the door rumbled shut.

The stairs didn’t go on for as long as Noah had expected. They ended just a few minutes of walking later, leaving them in a circular room lit by warm torches. It was ringed by doors – some open and some closed, and a large passage at the far side of the room presumably led into the auction proper.

“Get changed in any of the rooms that have open doors,” Contessa said, already heading toward one of the rooms. “There are Runed safes where you can put your belongings. Don’t take anything but your money, or it’ll go poorly.”

“Not sure I love that.” Noah frowned. “What if someone steals my shit?”

“They won’t,” Contessa promised. “You lock the safe with energy from your Runes, and it won’t open again until you release it. If anyone tried to break in, you’d have more than enough time to know – and the whole of the auction would come down on them. That’s why this thing is so exclusive.”

Noah scrunched his nose, then shrugged. It wasn’t like anyone would be able to lift his grimoire in the first place – and if they were dumb enough to try and steal his gourd, all he had to do was kill himself and he’d pop out right beside them.

He chose a room and headed inside. There were two sets of plain black robes hanging from the wall. One was fitted for a male, and the other for a female. Beside them was a single white mask with the number 17 on it. Noah changed into the male robes, and they adjusted size to match his form perfectly.

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The far end of the changing room had a metal door hanging askew. Beyond it was a safe roughly the size of a small changing closet. Noah could have fit himself into it if he wanted to. He set his belongings down inside it, only holding onto his travel bag with the money in it, then studied the door for a moment.

Swirling Imbuements covered its surface, hidden from identification but still clearly present. Shrugging to himself, Noah closed the door. As soon as it shut, he felt a tiny pull coming from where his hand met the door.

I don’t know how much information this thing gathers, so I’m not going to let it use anything but my worst Rune. I guess that’s Natural Disaster since all my other Runes don’t have any flaws at all.

Noah fed a slight amount of power from Natural Disaster into the door. There was a whirr and a clunk as it locked, and the lines covering it lit up a dull white.

I guess it looks secure enough.

He grabbed the mask from the wall and lifted it to his face. There wasn’t anything to hold it there, but it let out a faint hum as it touched his skin, attaching to it like a second skin. He could see through it perfectly, as if nothing was there.

“Huh. That’s neat,” Noah said, stepping out of his changing room. Karina, Moxie, and Lee were already waiting for him.

The imbuements on the clothes were evidently more impressive than he’d thought because they’d grown to match Lee’s considerable new form.

“Ready?” Contessa asked.

They all nodded.

“Let’s get moving, then. We want to get a good spot before the auction gets started.”

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